In The End India Won.

Nine.  Bloody.  Years.

Very little has happened since my last post over a week ago.  The pace has been slow as we've spent the last nine or so days chilling out on the beach.  It's been ideal, just what we needed to end our trip in India. Before we got to the beach we spent a few days in Fort Kochi which was amazing, for the most part.  It's a really scenic little place brimming with cool restaurants, cafe's and one bar.  The main tourist attraction here is the Kathakali dancing.  I wasn't really sure what it was and wasn't really fussed but Laura was keen so I went along.  After a quick explanation of what to expect I decided I wasn't interested, sulked a little and acted like a restless child in the back seat of a car on a long journey.  Obviously we had to go 2 hours early so that we could watch the performers putting on their make-up.  Why? I get bored watching Laura put on her make up.  I'd rather see the finished product so that I can fool myself into thinking that she doesn't actually look like the Cracken from "Clash of the Titans".  So, after watching paint dry (pretty much literally) the show started.  Thank god.  I perked up a little, stopped kicking the chair in front of me and decided to be attentive.  The chap on stage explained that these dancers / actors had to study the art of Kathakali theatre for nine years to get to this level.  Nine years, they must be good.  Wrong.  The premise is simple, each word within the language is linked with a movement of the body and face.  It's like a more elaborate and slower version of sign language.  Luckily we were given a script so that when the show started we could follow what was happening.  I thought it was going to be short because the script was only one page of A4. Wrong again.  Each word took about two minutes to "communicate".  In the three days that it took to get to the end of the show I wondered who they were actually performing for.  No one in the audience had a clue what was going on.  Remember, you have to study for nine years to understand it.  Essentially, it was just a group of men in make-up and dresses performing interpretive dance for each other.  Sounds like the party scene in Brighton.  Anyway, I had fulfilled my duty as a boyfriend and had a reasonably good time but I think Laura wished she'd gone on her own so she could have relaxed and enjoyed the show.

Putting some graft in to catch lunch.

We're now into our final day in India and I can proudly say that we survived.  It's pretty hard to believe that we fell in love with a country that is such a fucking pain in the arse.  I don't think I'll ever visit another country that will have the same effect on me.  It's a paradox.  India is beautiful and disgusting, enlightening and infuriating, difficult and simple, dirty and.....no just dirty.  The people here have some of the biggest smiles and the most piercing frowns.  They are the most kind, helpful and pleasant people but have the tendency to be the most annoying, lying, lazy little fuckers I have ever come across.  The same man who elbows you in the fight for a seat on the bus will send an apologetic head waggle for accidently standing on your toes once the dust has settled.  Although I've been trying for weeks to give insights into how India works and what it's like to be here, I still don't understand it myself.  We've had two months to travel, learn and soak it up and we've barely scratched the surface of this deep and interesting land.

Since arriving we've visited over seven states, 19 cities and towns, travelled over 9000km using buses, trains, auto-rickshaws, pedal rickshaws, camels, bicycles, jeeps, planes and bamboo rafts.  We've learned to cook, practice yoga, surf (kind of), speak a little Hindi, barter like professionals, humour stupid fucking hippies who want to talk about the path to enlightenment without showing a trace of anger, and, most importantly, we've learned that you have to give in to India because if you try to fight it, it will destroy you.

Laura ready to leave the beach.  I had
her other 14 bags.

God only know's how many temples we've visited, how much curry we have consumed, how much excrement in litres that Laura has passed and how much money we have lost due to being fleeced on a daily basis.  One thing is for sure though.  For all it's annoyances, backward ways and difficulties, India is a fascinating place.  If you had asked me a month ago whether I'd visit India again I'd of told you that I'd rather learn the art of Kathakali theatre.  Now though, I'm already thinking about what we should do when we return.  It's quite a turn around.

With all of that said, I hereby officially end the first chapter of both our journey and this blog.  India.....Done.  Providing we can obtain our visa's for the communist nation that is China, I will have lots more to share with you over the coming weeks.  No scrap that,  it seems as though Blogger may be banned in China.  No joke.   I won't know until I get there, but if you don't hear from me for a while it's because my right to freedom of speech has been taken away.




Lessons learned this week:

1. Indian Airplanes are like buses.  They seem to stop in every town to let people on and off.
2. Don't mess with the sea.  The sea will always win.
3. It's easy to lose a week of your life vegetating on a beach.
4. It's easy to learn nothing whilst vegetating on a beach.

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