They say that you should never go on holiday to the same place twice. They say that it will never be as good or that you will be disappointed. I think for the most part that I believe both of those statements. That said, coming back to Thailand has always been something I've wanted to do and I think now, five years later, I've probably changed enough to make it interesting and exciting again. For me, this was the place that started it all off, it's the reason I'm on this trip and writing this blog and it's the reason for all of the trip's in between. I realized first time round that the world has plenty to offer, different cultures to learn about, foods to eat, people to meet and that I can experience things that I didn't even know existed during my days of study and work. Ever since then I've done my best to indulge myself in as much of the world as I can. For me though, coming back to a country is a first. I've been aware from far too young an age that life's clock is always ticking and that your batteries could run out at any given moment with or without warning. So why waste time seeing and doing things that you have already seen and done?! Well, firstly, I had the time of my life here first time around and secondly, I have a better half who has a lust and fascination for seeing and learning everything about everywhere too. So why not, Thailand has been good to me before and I'm sure it will be this time.
When we touched down in Bangkok I had an instant urge of excitement. Firstly because the plane hadn't crashed like I was certain it would and secondly because we were about to start another chapter of our adventure. It's crazy to think that we've been away almost four months and that each time we land in a different country it feels like the first day of our travels every time. After freshening up we headed straight down to Khao San Road, the first port of call for any traveler in Thailand. Khao San Road is street filled with bars, restaurants, clubs, shops, massage parlours and hostels. It's also full of dick heads. Thailand is a notorious party scene and unfortunately attracts some of the people who would usually be in Biggie on a Saturday night but have popped over here to pay for sex with underage girls and start fights. You know the type, one hand filled with pills and the other occupied with some tarts clunge on the dance floor. It also seems to be a great place for toff's to blow their daddy's allowance on cheap booze. Have I gone through the toff thing yet? They're one rank below hippies. Their idea of a cultured experience is to walk past a beggar on the street and take a photo with them because it's not something you see in Chelsea. Chundering Everywar anyone? Anyway, as we were walking down Khao San Road I could feel the hairs on my neck standing up as floods of memories came back to me. Nothing to enlightening, just little bits and bobs. I realized that I was going to have to fight the urge to share all of these memories with Laura for fear of boring her and taking away from the experiences we were set to have. Ooooh, thats where I got drunk, that's where I lost my wallet, that's where I ate some noodles. That shit will get pretty boring pretty quickly and I don't want this part of the trip to be a competition between this time and the last.
We go to great lengths to get out of the heat.
The heat here has really affected us. It's 40 during the day and about 35 at night. You'll all be pleased to know that we have both been shitting our pants and chucking up our dinner on a regular basis, just like the good old days. Hopefully we will acclimatize soon and will be able to get back to a reasonable pace instead of planning our days around proximity to the nearest long drop. So far it's been slow, an average day at this point works like this;
Wake up
Shit
Get dressed
Argue about who is going to use the toilet
Shit
Eat breakfast
Shit
Possibly see a sight (providing its air conditioned and has toilet facilities)
Throw up
Eat dinner
Shit
Have a massage
Shit / throw up
Go to bed
Not exactly the plan we had in mind but we have to work with what we've got. I'll be sure to keep you up to date on who shits the bed first. Statistically Laura is favorite at 3:1.
Transport in Asia is getting weirder and weirder.
Other than shitting and racing our bodies to see if we can get more water in than sweat coming out (which so far we have not managed) it's been a total holiday here. We've both noticed how nice the Thai people are but in truth we're having a little bit of difficulty letting our guards down and trusting the locals. A few days ago when we were walking around aimlessly trying to find a bus station I popped into a cafe and asked lady sitting with some friends if she could point us in the right direction. She tried her best but couldn't find the English words to get her point across. Maybe it would have helped if we had had a little slip with a Thai translation on it so she could have smiled and pointed straight ahead.....Maybe not. It was no problem to us though, it was nice to have her try. As we were walking away she came running over and told us to wait, her husband was going to give us a lift. Now, in India this would have sent alarm bells ringing. It would mean either we were going to be murdered, raped, beaten up, robbed or at the very least, Laura would have to show a bit of nip before the doors would be unlocked. No way. I'm not getting into a car with a random guy in a country I know next to nothing about. I'm not letting some perv look at my baby girls nips. We'd be better off walking. But this helpful lady seemed to have a genuine smile and appeared as though she genuinely wanted to help so we took a gamble and jumped in the car. Our driver couldn't speak any English and we have no Thai so it was a little awkward just sitting there for the twenty minutes it took but low and behold we turned a corner and there was the bus station. He drove us in, stopped to ask some locals which bus we needed to get on and pretty much drove us to the bus doors. Now the awkward moment. Was I going to have to pay him? How much? Was Laura going to have to show nip? Nope. He give us a big smile and a lengthy handshake before motioning for us to get on the bus. What a hero! A genuine couple of people who just wanted to help for the sake of being nice. Being nice for being nice sake has been a pretty rare thing so far during our trip. So, with this in mind, I guess we can let our guards down and start to trust the local people. Watch this space for forthcoming stories of us getting scammed.
Now, something else that we've noticed is the classic "old fella with pretty young Thai girl" scenario. It's a weird one but in truth I understand the concept. Old lonely fellas can come over here to be kept company by young women with the likelihood of getting a happy ending. The girls get paid, the fella gets laid and everyone goes home a little better off. At least that's the situation on the surface. Although I can see the attraction to the idea of a sort of minimal effort for maximum pay off situation, it still strikes me as odd when I see it happening. And it's not only old fellas either. We've seen young good looking guys (hello sailor) at it too which has to make you wonder. They could just go on a night out and pull. I think for many of these guys the attraction is that they pay for the service and it's easier than summoning the courage to chat up a girl. Either way, I don't agree with it and it makes me sick to see these old fellas walking around hand in hand with naive (or are they?) girls. What must these poor girls be thinking? I bet they can make a vodka and coke last for hours knowing that when it's finished they're going back to the hotel to suck a wrinkly.....you know. As with most things I see and disagree with I have to understand that I can't impose my western ideals or change the world. It's also ignorant of me to assume that a) the guys are perverted, lonely and sad and b) that the working girls hate their job. I just call it as I see it and what I see ain't pretty.
The Death Railway over the River Kwai.
Now, it's not all been pants shitting and prostitutes. Since landing we've visited some amazing places as we've traveled through the North of Thailand. We've been to Bangkok, Kanchanaburi, Ayutthaya and Chiang Mai, all of which have been, as per usual, amazing. However, of all the ancient ruins, temples, waterfalls and idyllic scenery the best thing I have seen so far is an all out dancing, hoola-hoop spinning, sit down cross legged harmonica playing elephant. Yeah, read that sentence again to make sure you take it all in and take time to create a vivid image in your mind of what that actually must have looked like. If you can't I have a video of said elephant. These Thai folk sure can train their pets and whether you agree with it or not, you can't take anything away from the spectacle of such a performance.
Anyway, moving away from dancing elephants the next few weeks will see us travel further North into Laos and then through to Vietnam. Hopefully the pace will pick up again and we will be busy experiencing all that South East Asia has to offer. I'll be keeping my eye out for the most weird and wonderful things so that I can share them with you.
Lessons learned this week;
I have no idea whether I should be using 'Learned' or 'Learnt' for the above phrase.
If an elephant has more skills than you, you need to make more of your free time.
Thai people might just be honest.
It's possible to find a room in Chiang Mai that has a hot shower, TV and swimming pool and only costs five quid a night.
Kris, you made me laugh so hard that I nearly shat myself! Great post!
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