VIP's

Now then, just a quick formality before we get started.  A couple of things have changed on the blog, or rather, have been added. At the top of this page under the title "Bouling Al Owwa The World" there is a box.  If you stick your e-mail address in the said box and click 'submit' you will automatically get updates from the blog via e-mail.  Nice right?  Also, at the bottom of the post, you'll see a few new icons.  These icons allow you to share the blog directly to your Twitter and Facebook pages.  In other words, it's a lot easier to share the blog with people who I can't pester on Facebook through messages and wall posts.  So, if you feel the need you can forward the blog via e-mail (now that you have all signed up) and share it with your pals via social networking by just clicking the buttons at the bottom of the post.  Give it a bash, hopefully it works!  Formalities end.

This has got to be the best way to get around.

We're now in Laos after our couple of weeks in Northern Thailand.  We ended up staying Thai side of the border for a little longer than we had planned but in fairness we were having a bloody nice time so why not?  We stayed in Chiang Mai for an extra day so that we could jam in one last little adventure in the Jungle and then headed to Chaing Rai to see the White Temple (don't worry, it was actually pretty interesting).  Our jungle adventure was as usual, an amazing experience.  I don't think I'll ever get bored of hanging out with elephants and swimming in lagoons, but, I've already blogged about this sort of thing so I'm going to move on to Wat Rong Khun, better known as 'The White Temple'.

As per usual I could't be bothered to read the guide book to find out what it was Laura was blabbing on about while I was trying to enjoy a relaxing breakfast, but apparently we were heading out of town to see another temple.  Woopdy-fucking-doo.  I don't argue anymore, I just go, try not to complain too much and smile for the photos so that when I post my blogs it looks as though I was having a good time.  This is what always happens, this is what I expected to happen at The White Temple. To my delight, I was wrong.  The White temple is fucking cool.  I'll give you a quick bit of background info;  The temple was designed by Mr. Chalermchai Kositpipa (A fiver says you didn't read his name right first time) who is apparently a well known artist in Thailand.  Again, Laura's forte not mine.  He wanted to design and build a more modern temple that would stand out from the monotonous sea of other temples all over Asia.  I have to give a guy credit where credit is due, I think he pulled it off.  Construction started in 1997 and is due to finish in 2070.  That's pretty annoying, chances are I won't be around to see the finished product, and if I am, I'm likely to be wearing adult nappies and feeling up the nurse as she spoons me medication.  I won't be giving a fuck about temples in Thailand.

Not your ordinary Temple.

Anyway, the part that is finished is beautiful, weird, modern and through my eyes, has more to do with popular culture than religion.  A regular Buddhist temple is covered in images of Buddha, has dragons and shit all over the walls and makes me feel slightly unwelcome.  So what is it that makes The White Temple different? Well, how about a sculpture of the alien from predator climbing out of the ground right outside? How about a painting of Neo from the matrix chilling out with the blue lads from Avatar and Darth Vader (amongst others) that covers one entire wall of the inside of the temple?  How about a pit of doom which includes over 500 hands reaching up from hell?  How about a no smoking sign with hands that hold cigarettes? How about traffic cones designed to look like skulls? You get the point, it's more a large scale work of art than a temple.  We spent a good few hours looking for all of the quirky little bits that made us laugh and I  genuinely had a good time.  Mr Kositpipa, I take my imaginary hat off to you, you created an interesting temple.  Well done lad.  All of that said, I can't help but feel sorry for the monks who have to pray under the watchful eyes of The Sith Lord.  I wonder if it will work?

Laura laughing at my "make the water hot' trick.

After our stay in Chiang Rai we headed over the border to Laos.  To our surprise it was an easy enough process.  We just jumped in a boat with our belongings, crossed the river and boom, we were in Laos.  I felt just like a Refugee en route for England, the only difference being that there was a small formal checking process where we were required to provide a passport and buy a visa.  Other than that though, I'm sure it's the same.  Any who, all was well until we got stuck in the shitty little border town of Huay Xai.  What a place.  It has a population of 3 cockroaches, 4 dogs, 2 cats and one guest house owner who looked as though she was well passed her sell by date.  It was our own fault for not checking the bus times but it was just one of those things.  After spending a boring night and day in Huay Xai, we decided we'd book ourselves onto the VIP bus to Luang Prabang so that we might get a little bit of well deserved luxury.  It was a 14 hour journey so why not?  Let me explain to you what a VIP bus in Laos is.  No, let me first tell you how it was explained to me by the sales person.  It has air-con, fully reclining seats with extra leg room, an entertainment system for playing music and DVD's and is quieter than public buses so provides a better sleeping environment.  Brilliant, sign me up for that.  Now let me tell you what we actually got.  No air-con.  Windows that wouldn't open because the sliding mechanism had rusted shut.  A seat that was constantly in recline because the leaver was broken but that vaulted me forward every time the driver used his brakes.  Shitty local music being blared into my ear from the speaker that was an inch away from my head, until 4am. A woman who decided that blearing music wasn't enough fun at 2am and so decided to sing along to the tunes WITH A FUCKING MICROPHONE for a further 2 hours.  However, extra leg room was provided for the passenger behind Laura as the back of Laura's seat fell apart freeing up an extra inch or so. So there you go, thats what you get on a VIP bus in Laos.

Full of enthusiasm as we set off for the caves.

Luckily the city of Luang Prabang has so far been a bit of a treat.  We've spent the most of our time here eating and relaxing except for a little cycling excursion to a cave today.  It all went pretty well apart from the cave bit.  After enjoying the White Temple so much I decided that I'd have a little glance in the guide book to see if there was anything I fancied doing.  I read about a cool sounding cave that was only a few kilometers out of town.  Nice one, we'll have a nice relaxing ride, explore the caves and get back in time to chill out and have a couple of beers.  Proudly, I explained my master plan to Laura who was frankly too amazed that I was actually making an effort to care about what we were doing or check my plans.  So off we went, on our bikes, with the map.  We ended up cycling for about 3 hours (on a trip that should have been nearer 45 minutes) but I put this down to part of the adventure.  You know, getting lost in paradise and all that.  The mid morning heat got a little overwhelming for Laura so she decided she would sit in a cafe and eat ice cream while I cycled away to find the cave.  Fair enough.  I cycled for a few kilometers further and still couldn't find any sign of the caves or any locals who knew what I was on about.  I decided to go back to meet Laura so that we could re-asses the situation and maybe jump in a taxi instead.  When I got back she smugly asked me if I had found it.  When I told her I hadn't she smiled to herself and sipped on her coke.  Annoyed, I asked her what was so funny.  Just for the record, Laura loves it when I'm wrong, it makes her day.  She patronizingly got out the book and asked me to read the section on the caves again.  I did.  Still nothing.  Knowing that I would never figure out what had gone on she decided to let me in on the'joke'.  Apparently I'd read about the caves in an entirely unrelated section of the book and they weren't actually anywhere near the city we were in.  For fuck sake.  The one time I try to organise something and be a little proactive it all goes tits up.  We never made it to the caves but I reckon that even now as Laura lies blissfully reading somewhere that her smug smile will be wrapped around her face so if nothing else, I made her day.

Lessons learnt this week;

1. Not every temple is boring.
2. VIP means shit all in Laos.
3. I'm no good at organising activities.